


Fabulous Baking Sisters or How To (not) Get Over a Norse God in 730 days

by Rozilla



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Darcy Lewis, Awesome Jane Foster, Baking, Crack, F/M, Female Friendship, Female-Centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Lovesickness, Science cakes!, Stress Baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozilla/pseuds/Rozilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After seeing Jane in a slump one too many times, Darcy decides to get her into stress baking... and soon regrets it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It started as a conversation on tumblr then it kept going.

Darcy sighed when she got in, she should've guessed when Jane didn't answer the door bell. Her boss was buried in a pile of blankets on the sofa, at her Mom's nice little London pad, practically comatose. There were empty tubs of pretty expensive ice-cream strewn about- peanut butter cups, the greek-style _and_ Darcy's personal supply of Raspberry Lemonade Sorbet. She couldn't bring herself to be angry or even annoyed; Jane had fallen pretty hard this time. Darcy, being a decent sort, made a hot cup of coffee before she woke her up. Darcy gently shook her boss' shoulder, waving the mug near her nose and stood back as Jane slowly sat up, zombie-like, her hair doing a good impression of a bird's nest and her eyes painfully blood-shot- the tear-marks were still pretty visible on her face.

'What happened?' She asked, handing her the steaming mug.

Jane took a sip of coffee and croaked 'I broke a cup.'

'That's no big- oh right,' Darcy realised. She turned to see the smashed crockery left in the dust-pan, not even moved into the trash, and saw it was  _pretty much the same mug as the one_ he _smashed. Jesus._

'I think I left the stereo on,' Jane pointed vaguely in the direction of the hi-fi. When Darcy opened up the CD player, she found _The Red Shoes_ by Kate Bush- another indicator. It was the one Jane listened to when she was _really_ down.

'I need help Darce,' Jane groaned, shrinking into the couch 'I thought I was over this by now but... that mug was all it took. It was like... oh god...'

'Stop right there weepy-pants!' Darcy said, sternly, marching to the kitchen and emptying the dust pan 'I'll make us some lunch, proper lunch, with vitamins and stuff. You're still sugar crashing and I am going to fix you up with a good- God Jane, where's the food?'

Jane shrugged 'I must've ate it.'

'No, I mean, the vegetables, the fruit, the cans- there's literally nothing here! Thought you said you were going shopping!'

'Shopping?' Jane whined 'You know I _hate_ -'

'For food! Like, _real_ food! You're skinny enough as it is without surviving on...' she waved her hand towards the empty ice-cream cartons '… junk! Quality junk I'll grant you, but junk nonetheless!'

'I couldn't... I had bought a few things...'

'Pot-noodles and instant pasta is not real food,' Darcy shook her head 'first thing's first, you're going to have a bath, a nice relaxing bath, then I'm going to the market and getting some proper food. I'm making you some roast veggies and a side of grilled chicken.'

'Urgh,' Jane groaned 'not hungry Darcy-'

'That's the sugar still talking, you _are_ hungry and you're gonna eat, that's an order.'

Jane rose unsteadily to her feet like a baby deer learning to walk 'Whatever, just stop shouting, my head hurts.'

'Pick up those cartons for me and I'll do the bath, go! Shoo!'

Darcy ran the water and poured in some peppermint-smelling bubble bath, smiling satisfactorily and went back to the living room, where Jane had managed to pick up all the cartons and was putting them all in the trash. She glared at the broken cup, as if it held all the evil in the world, then replaced the lid and walked towards the bathroom and, to Darcy's horror, was taking off her shirt.

'Jane! I'm not paid enough for witnessing casual nudity!' She shut her eyes and held up a hand 'Don't need to see your Matzoh balls thank you!'

Jane barely reacted, simply dropping the hem of her nightshirt and staggering to the bathroom. Darcy shook her head, this was bad. Really bad. It seemed to happen in cycles- just as she thought Jane was recovering, was getting back on her feet, she would suddenly hit rock bottom again. Sometimes it was a big thing- a feature on the Avengers, pictures of Thor in the tabloids or coming across her notes from New Mexico- other times there seemed to be no cause at all. The time before last, it was just... raining. That's all.

She heard Jane sink slowly into the bath and began busying herself around the kitchen, desperately looking for something- anything- to give Jane to bolster her up. Nothing. Dried herbs and horrible instant food. Yuck. One cupboard appeared to hold a bunch of cookery books, sweet and savoury, some from the 70s and 80s and one written by hand full of recipes indexed alphabetically. It was pretty old to, the paper crackling slightly and the tape becoming stiff and loose. She found a recipe that was... pretty inspiring actually. Sweet, but filling. It would make a solid desert choice.

'Jane!' She called 'Just heading out! Back soon!'

Jane acknowledge with a grunt, Darcy rolling her eyes and heading out to the vegetable market.

 

When she returned, Jane had mustered the energy to get dressed in some sweats (whether they were clean or not wasn't entirely clear) and return to her previous spot. She'd progressed to the TV and appeared to be watching _Ulysses 31._ 'Loved this show as a kid,' Jane was saying, smiling in a slightly sleepy way 'never did find out whether he got his crew back.'

 _So, breaking a cup sends you into a downward spiral, but a cartoon about bearded dudes and literal space gods is totally cool?_ Darcy dumped several plastic bags of vegetables, fruit and unpacked a chicken breast.

'We didn't come across the Atlantic to stay inside! C'mon boss! Live a little!'

Jane gave her a look 'I'm waiting for some news from Erik.'

'What about that data he sent us from his trip to Wales?'

A shrug 'Nothing concrete. Just a touch of atmospheric silliness. Nothing to get excited about.'

That wasn't like Jane. Then again, nothing that she did in the last couple of years was like Jane- 'atmospheric silliness' my ass!

'So until he gets back to us we're good?'

'I guess.'

'Okay then,' Darcy flopped beside her on the couch 'I know heart-break okay, I know what it's like to have a guy not call you back-'

'Oh c'mon!' Jane got up but was dragged back again.

'And this is a _whole_ lot worse, I get it, I do, but we need to get you bouncing back. You need a hobby away from Einstein-Rosen bridges for a while. Just until you can look at your old data again without spiralling and raiding my super-expensive luxury ice-cream. Again.'

'What do you suggest?'

'You'll see, soon as I get you fed Jane Foster, I have found something you and I can do together to get you back on the right track.'

Lunch was pretty good if Darcy said so herself, with a nice garlic dressing to, and Jane seemed to be getting better with each mouthful. When she had finished, Darcy produced a box from beneath the counter top 'Ta-dah! Had a run in with the upmarket cake-supplies store down the street, omigod, you should see it! They've got... like... everything you need!'

She unpacked a cake tin, tubs of ready made easy-spread icing, edible glitter, chocolate chips, glittery cupcake cases, a variety of icing bags and nozzles, and a spectrum of food colouring. She had also acquired more spreads (peanut butter, Nutella, honey, jam) than was good for Jane's sanity.

'Jane, let's _cook_!' Darcy despaired at Jane's blank expression, _Breaking Bad_ references lost on someone who had watched nothing but 80s cartoons, BBC 4 and re-runs of _Cosmos_ for the past two years 'I mean; let's make cupcakes!'

The reaction was swift.

'I'm going back to bed.'

'Listen, okay, all I ask is _one_ batch of twelve ordinary, vanilla cupcakes- baked then decorated, _then_ you can go back to bed.'

Jane gave up, shrugging, throwing her hands up 'Fine! If it'll get you off my back, let's go.'

Darcy cracked her knuckles 'Oh hells yeah!'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baking intensifies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spitalfields is worth a visit, it's just outside London Liverpool Street, and it's got quite a nice market. Also here's the star mug- unfortunately it's out of stock at the Science Museum, but you can probably get it else where: http://www.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk/home/kitchen/the_star_mug.htm . Here's some other links:  
> Science Biscuits- http://www.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk/home/kitchen/science_biscuits.htm  
> 3D Space Cookies- http://www.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk/home/kitchen/3d_space_cookie_cutters.htm

'Oh my goooddd...' Jane closed her eyes with a contented sigh.

'See? Told you; using the blender and a shot glass of maple syrup would help, it's good right?'

'So good,' Jane agreed, scrunching up the cupcake case 'it's like store-bought only...'

'Better? Cause you made it yourself? Yeah, that's probably psychosomatic, but it still tastes good so whatever.'

Jane had eaten four so far, Darcy had six and they were beginning to feel it.

'Icing's a bit... much,' Jane said, retreating to a glass of water.

'Yeah to... processed. We ought to try and make it ourselves next time.'

'How'd you do that?'

Darcy dusted off her hands 'Use icing sugar and cream cheese.'

'Gross! Seriously? Cheese and sugar?' Jane pulled a face.

' _Cream_ cheese Jane, it's what they make most icing out of. Your decorating was good by the way,' she nodded to the little peaks of icing sprinkled liberally with glitter 'see? Told you it was easy.'

'Hmm,' Jane looked thoughtfully at the remaining cakes.

'What're you thinking?' Darcy picked up the tray, doing her best Anna impression 'Wanna make some more cupcakes?'

Jane raised an eyebrow 'No...'

'Yeah you do! And looked what I picked up for a bargain price of,' she slipped into her best British accent 'Six pounds and ninety-nine pence!'

It was a thick, chintzy book of cupcake recipes, with an insane amount of pink and gingham. Jane pulled a face 'I don't know-'

'Right, I was thinking we try the cookies and cream one first, since I picked up a bag of mini-Oreos, and then later we do the peanut-butter ones-'

'Who's going to eat them all? I feel pretty sick already.'

'I'm thinking,' Darcy continued, as if she hadn't heard Jane, 'we have a go at something a little out of the ordinary like the margarita cupcakes, I'm pretty sure we've got the alcohol-'

'Darce!' Jane snapped, but not unkindly 'What're we going to do with all the cupcakes we make?'

Darcy smiled sweetly and placed both hands on her shoulders 'Oh sweet, naive Jane, you leave the supply and demand problems to me. You, take this book, and go nuts.'

'We don't _have_ a supply and demand problem, we have no _demand_ , _that's_ the problem. What the hell are we going to do with all these freakin' cupcakes?'

'I told you, I'll sort that one, you get your butt in gear and start baking me some more.'

'I can't do this on my own!' Jane protested 'I can't cook!'

'You don't need to, baking is different, it's... a science. And an art,' Darcy flourished, reaching for her purse.

'I'm no good at art either-'

'Just try it okay? I'm going out.'

'Where?'

'I'm going to see a man about a demand problem!' Darcy breezed, leaving a stunned and confused Jane in her wake.

 

When Darcy returned later that day, Jane was putting the finishing touches on a Nutella and banana cupcake 'Thought I'd mix it up!' Jane chirruped with a giggle 'I tried one and their pretty good. The icing is still the ready made stuff but there's no sense in wasting it.'

'How many did you do?' Darcy stared at the table in the living area, laden with cakes- some decorated, some not.

'Uh... about three dozen?'

'Woah,' Darcy looked impressed 'Jeez, you've been busy.'

'Yeah... I have.'

Jane looked thoughtfully at the piles of cakes and smiled to herself 'I have been busy.'

'Let me guess, not a single thought about what's-his-nuts?'

Jane looked round at her 'Well- no. Not even a little.'

Darcy took a bow 'Introducing- Darcy's patented cake therapy! It works by making you so busy you instantly forget super-hot alien space Vikings!'

Jane stared into the distance for a moment 'Holy... you're right! I didn't even _think_ about him all day!I didn't even stop to remember- oh my god!'

'I know right!' Darcy pulled Jane into an hug, avoiding the bag of icing Jane was still holding 'See! Now all we have to do is get rid of the cupcakes.'

'Oh god, I can't eat all these!' Jane winced, her stomach aching at the thought.

'Fear not Doctor Foster, I have just booked us a last minute stall at Spitalfields market this coming Wednesday. Had to get Public Liability Insurance first, for a one off stall, stupid England! Never mind, it was only, like, five pounds, so it was so big deal-'

'We can't run a business Darcy!' Jane spluttered 'Are you insane?!'

'It's not a business, it's a hobby! We're just going to be getting rid of our merchandise! We're just going to have fun baking and maybe make a bit of money out of it! C'mon!'

Jane pulled a face. 

'Look, you've had ten years of applying for funding, what's so bad about running a stall? It's probably easier, it's not like you have to try and kiss a bunch of wrinkly white asses to fund explorations into the middle of Hicksville, New Mexico! You're just selling sugary treats to rich London Hipsters and naïve tourists!'

'I dunno...' 

'It helped didn't it? Made you feel good for a while?' 

Jane couldn't deny it, Darcy had a point. What was the alternative? Wallowing in misery waiting for Erik to arise from the depths with more wild goose chases? 

'Okay.' 

Darcy turned, eyes full of hope 'You mean it?! Seriously?!'

'Yeah... but just this once okay?'

Darcy punched the air 'You will not regret this my friend- oh! I popped into the Science Museum on the way home and guess what I found in the gift shop...'

She extracted a series of science-themed cookie cutters- beakers, the periodic table, atoms, flasks and a 3D cookie cutter set.

'This one you can assemble into a space-shuttle after you've baked it! Neat huh?'

Jane sighed 'Yeah... okay, that's pretty neat.'

'And I have writing icing to! So we can decorate them! We can make  _science cookies and cakes!_ It could be our USP!'

'What?'

'Unique selling point, it's business speak, you wouldn't understand-'

'Thought you said this wasn't a business.'

'It's  _not_ , I'm just yanking your chain! C'mon! Finish those cakes and we'll start on the cookies!'

Jane couldn't help but smile a little 'Alright.'

'Oh! And I kinda went nuts when I saw this, here-'

She pressed a mug into Jane's hands- it was black and speckled with stars. She stared at it, unable to speak for a moment.

'When you get it hot, you can see the constellations,' Darcy explained 'Jane? You okay in there?'

'I think... I think I'm going to cry...'

'Oh! No way! No! We're just getting started-'

'No.. I'm so happy! These are happy tears!'

'They look  _pretty_ much the same as your sad tears,' Darcy smiled at her 'Jane? You'll be okay. I'm here to help.'

'I will start paying you. I will.'

'Listen, so long as yours and Erik's compensation from SHIELD keeps rolling in, we're good to go! Plus, there's lectures, your papers, your articles... we'll be fine. The priority is to keep your head above water. Don't think I'm being totally self-less though, I am dependent on you for my basic survival in a foreign country.'

'Fair enough,' Jane gulped 'let's get to it then.'

'Do you wanna make some cookies?' Darcy sang and, Jane happily let herself get swept up in her friend's enthusiasm. Honestly feeling the most at peace she had been in far  _far_ too long.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One successful stall and Jane is on a roll- straight into CRAZYVILLE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recipe for solar system cake pops- http://www.quericavida.com/en/what-is-rico/culinary-school-solar-system-cake-pops/ if you're interested!  
> Also these science themed cakes gave me a few ideas (warning, some of them are pretty gross) - http://mentalfloss.com/article/51207/14-cakes-inspired-scientific-concepts

Jane was grateful to Darcy for bringing flasks of coffee; it was a typically English October- .i.e. pissing down with rain. The market was indoors thankfully, in a light, airy space surrounded by restaurants and shops, as well as street performers doing some sort of magic act to the delight of the gathered crowds. Business had gone pretty well, especially considering that they were competing against a hot organic food stand _and_ a rather upmarket looking patisserie.

'They are gluten free,' Darcy was saying, pointing to a selection of cupcakes 'made with rice flour.'

She was addressing a couple, twenties, fashionably dressed, who sighed in relief 'Thank god! So hard to find decent gluten free cakes!'

They ended up buying about ten, taking them away in boxes that she and Jane had put together that morning.

'Not bad!' Darcy remarked, putting away the money 'How're you holding up?'

'I'm good,' Jane smiled 'I might go have a look around later if that's okay?'

'Sure,' Darcy shrugged 'go now if you want, I'll hold the fort. Take some of this.'

Darcy held out a twenty pound note 'You made these cakes, you might as well enjoy the earnings.'

'We won't make a profit if we spend it,' Jane sounded unsure, but we still drawn to the allure of the market stalls.

'This is not a business! I keep telling you! Just a hobby, just for funzies, you take some cash and go nuts for once.'

She watched Jane wander off with a smile, seeing her drift towards other stalls on the market- heading for the stationary and second-hand books. Jane _did_ like shopping, she reflected, just not with other people. She liked to take her time, wander, explore, which was not an option in a group. Trade didn't go crazy in Jane's absence, it was mostly old ladies, tourists, students and the occasional upper middle class 'Yummy Mummy' with their offspring in baby-bjorns. Darcy could swear that one of the Moms (sorry, _Mums_ ) who bought a stack of coffee and cream cakes was a celebrity, but she couldn't exactly say who. Maybe she had seen her on _Eastenders_ or something. That soap was _intense_. She was going to miss it when she got back to the States.

She expected Jane to return with notebooks, surprised when Jane came back clutching baking supplies and a couple of hefty looking recipe books.

'Look! Cake pops!' Jane showed Darcy a book 'Did they have these at that place you went to before?'

'Uh... I think so,' Darcy looked over 'wow! They're adorable!'

'I know right! We can make little planets! I can put them in the right order, make them different sizes-'

'Yeah! That sounds pretty good,' Darcy gave her boss/friend a strange look, not sure if she was having her on.

'How would I make the rings on Saturn?'

'Marzipan I guess, but hey, let's get rid of the current merchandise first okay?'

'Yeah... we can always come back next week, we already paid for the liability insurance so what the hell!'

Jane seemed to be gently vibrating with excitement, and Darcy wasn't entirely sure whether she was happy for Jane or slightly freaked out at the wild look of excitement in her eye.

It was pretty clear which in a few days.

 

'Jane, seriously, we will never sell all of this!'

'But, look, I figured out the cake pops thing!' Jane licked melted white chocolate buttons of her fingers 'You have to melt the buttons and _then_ freeze them! Oh! Plus, I found a place in Tottenham Court Road that does American candy, so I was able to get the right colour candy melts for Saturn's rings!'

'Right... is there any point in telling you that it's gone half past eleven at night?'

'And, I'm thinking building a cake pop _orrery_! Not with these ones, but when I've made another set, I can build the rotating platforms out of plywood, then have each of the planets on different orbiting rings and have the sun in the middle!'

'Jane-'

'I can even make the sun so that you can see all the active regions of the sun in multi wavelengths- or even-'

Darcy left her to it, feeling a little like a mad scientist herself at the moment, watching her creation ramble on whilst she made a cup of coffee and wondered, with a shudder, what would happen if she ever got Jane into knitting. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane makes a decision. Darcy despairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This bit was hard to write, but I am still trying to make sense of canon. I've been in Jane's place before, trust me.

'Oh look, what a surprise.'

It had been two weeks now and every day without fail, Darcy had walked in on Jane on yet another baking project. Most had been surprisingly successful, even downright heavenly, but others had included setting off the smoke alarm, an actual fire and trying to extract cheery stones from the blender _when it was still plugged into the freaking wall._ Jane had been lucky not to lose a finger. Today's endeavour was Aniseed cakes and Darcy had to try and breath in through her mouth, as the smell of aniseed made her sick to her stomach. Somehow Jane could stand it and was in the middle of grinding caraway seeds in a mortar and pestle.

'Hey Darcy! I spoke to Covent Garden! I booked us a stall for the Thursday, it's more expensive than Spitalfields, but I figured that's where we'll get more tourists. Also, I think we should donate some of our money, I was thinking Engineers without Borders? Or maybe Sciencegrrl?'

'Uh, sure, okay,' Darcy shrugged and retreated to the safety of Jane's laptop, which was currently running idle in a corner. She noticed a new email and quickly opened it.

'Jane? You've got an email from Erik.'

'Oh?' Jane didn't look up from her baking, pouring the ground caraway into the mixture.

'Yeah- he's got fresh data! He's been up to The Great Orme and he says the data's super-promising! Look! There's a weird disturbance up there, the numbers are nearly similar to-'

'Cool.'

Darcy turned and stared at her, or rather, the top of her head as she stirred the mixture by hand, and her jaw dropped 'Cool? That's it? Seriously?'

'It's been weeks and nothing of any note has turned up yet, forgive me for not getting set up for yet another failure.'

It was now that Darcy could see the cardboard boxes, with all the equipment- the phase metres, the scanners, the radio telescopes- stashed away. Jane had been packing them up. Right then, Darcy wanted to shake Jane's shoulders and scream into her face, but managed not to 'But there is  _some_ atmospheric disturbance, which means that there could be science out there for us to look at! Why aren't you excited?'

Jane looked up from her mixing and just... sighed. 

It was the first time that Darcy had seen her defeated. Properly defeated. At least when she had been eating her body weight in frozen sugar and fat, there had been some form of anger, the injustice of it all weighing on her, but she still looked as though she would come back fighting again.

Not now. Darcy felt as though the person she knew as Jane Foster, Ph.D, who once tried to wrestle her equipment out of the back of SHIELD van, who drove headlong into a whirling tornado, was now just Jane Foster. Tired.  _Resigned_ . 

'You know,' Jane put the bowl aside 'when I broke up with Donald, I didn't even cry. Not even a bit. I felt as though I was free to get back to what I  _really_ wanted to do, like I had no responsibility to a relationship any more- a relationship with a guy who was an emotionally crippled jerk-off I might add. Pot-kettle-black, I know, but hey. I tried to relate to him, tried to talk to him about the hospital, being a doctor, which for me is a real achievement-'

'Can't argue with that.'

'-but you know what he said? He said 'But Jane! You won't understand my work, it's not like running around chasing wormholes, it's too  _important and too real_ . You just can't understand the way people work like I do.''

Darcy winced 'Jeez, he  _was_ a jerk.'

'I kicked him out right there and then. If he didn't think Einstein-Rosen bridges were important,  _literal bridges to all over the galaxy and beyond_ , then he didn't deserve to be part of my life. You would not believe the people who gave me lectures 'But he's a handsome, rich private practice doctor! He's perfect!' Well, no. No he  _really_ wasn't. I never asked for perfect, I just wanted someone to  _care_ about my work.  _Not even have to understand it!_ Just freaking  _care_ . To just tell me it was important. For once. That it's part of me. Part of what makes me  _me._ That's all I wanted. I've dreamed of building a bridge to space since I was little. Since Dad told me that it was, theoretically, possible.'

Jane seemed strangely distant, Darcy had heard a variant of this speech before, but it was with tears in her eyes and wild hand gestures. Not any more.

'I've had a lot of set backs, from no funding, to second-rate equipment, to Erik asking me if I'm sure, like  _all the time_ , to my equipment being stolen, to out and out sexism but this... This was different. This made me feel as if I'd been pushed all the way back down the mountain.'

'Why Jane? This is what I'm struggling to understand,' Darcy pulled up a seat and sat across from her on the dining table, gently pushing the bowl away to get her attention 'I know he was handsome, like, ridiculously, but he's just a guy-'

'It wouldn't have mattered if he looked like Randy Quaid with a soul patch and a hair piece,' Jane interrupted 'he...  _Thor..._ was the first person since my Dad to tell me I shouldn't give up. That I was on the right track. He didn't even  _need_ to tell me, he  _existed_ , he pulled lightening out of the sky! He was living proof that I was not only right but there's a civilisation on the other side of super-advanced alien life!'

Jane's arms wrapped around her middle and her gaze fell away 'Now he's gone. So's my proof. So's my work.'

'But surely there's other places in the universe, other ways of travelling to another dimension or whatever?' 

'Probably, but every time I look... I think about the disappointment, the humiliation, what happened in New York and what happened to  _Erik_ ... and I feel as though someone has drained everything from me. I feel lost again. Like I did when the sky cleared over New Mexico. I can't even  _look_ at my work any more. I've been trying for months, but it throws me back every single time... I can't do it any more Darcy. I just can't. It's destroying me. It...'

There were tears now, but they were blinked away 'it's just not worth it any more.'

'What do you mean 'it's not worth it'? You said-'

'We know these portals are possible now, we've seen them, everyone has. We know aliens exist. There were a whole bunch of them in New York killing people and destroying the place. Why need me to tell you the freaking obvious? My work is done. I'm done. Erik should be done to, but he's in no state of mind to let it go. I'm not ending up like him. I'm not letting... Thor... leave me a shell of what I once was.'

'So, what, you're going to sit here baking cakes for the rest of your life?' Darcy was pretty angry now.

'You know, when Donald said that to me,' Jane smiled a little, Darcy pulling a face at the sudden non-sequitur 'I looked him straight in the eye and recited the bones in the human hand, arm, then shoulder. I also told him the various hormones and chemical reactions he was having right now that made him say such stupid things to me. I had been reading his old books from medical school. I understood them. It's pretty straightforward.'

Jane got up and fished out a leaflet from the piles on the counter in the kitchen 'If I got a student visa, I could get funding from the NHS and study in the UK. I could live here, probably get a job not long after I graduate-'

'You're going to become a doctor?' Darcy said, flatly, not believing it.

'I'm  _already_ a doctor, now I'll be a medical doctor.'

Neither said anything for a while. Darcy felt as though she'd been frozen to the spot. 

'So... a medical doctor huh?'

'Yup.'

She walked over to the bowl again 'Baking has given me time to think, given me time to re-focus and... I want to move on properly now. I'm tired of being helpless. Tired of being told I shouldn't be here, or there. I can do anything. I'm going to science still... just with a practical application.'

'You don't think building worm-holes was a practical application?'

Jane shrugged 'We have not got the power source to make one, a working one. The only thing powerful enough was the Tesseract- and looked what happened. Least this way I can help people directly. Prove Donald wrong at least.'

Right there, Darcy would have given anything to build a time machine to go back and slap herself for thinking of something as utterly stupid as getting Jane into baking. She'd wanted it to help Jane get  _back_ into astrophysics- not drive her away! 

'You know, if I ever meet that blonde Viking a-hole again, I'll punch him in the face,' Darcy said. 

'No you won't,' Jane replied, her smile looking sad again 'because I'll get there first.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is not paid enough for this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funnily enough, I found one of my go-to cupcake books and had it out for reference, my daughter saw it and we ended up making peanut butter and banana cupcakes. There are only three left of our batch, this fic is giving me good karma!

'Uh, Jane, I've been thinking,' Darcy looked up from her phone as Jane waved off another customer 'maybe you're being too rash with this whole career change thing.'

'I told you Darce, I've made a decision, it's done.'

'See, I get that, but what I'm thinking is maybe you just need another more _satisfying_ hobby than baking.'

Jane raised an eyebrow 'I have a Hitachi in my bedside drawer.'

Darcy snorted 'Well, maybe you need someone to join in-'

'I doubt it.'

'Look, I know no one will compare to Pecs-from-Asgard, but you could find someone who will listen, encourage, care... via online dating?'

Jane nearly snapped her neck looking round at her 'No.'

'Oh c'mon! Jane! Maybe you just need to get out and socialise and maybe meet a dude- or chick- who makes you feel happy-'

'Online dating? Are you nuts?'

'I might be, but just try it okay? I can sign you up, filter out the dregs and... well, look at it this way- if you hate him, you'll never have to talk to him again and-'

Jane's eyes narrowed 'What have you done?'

'Uh...' Darcy tried to smiled 'Nothing...'

'When you say 'I can sign you up' what you _actually_ mean is 'I've already signed you up and hope you won't be mad when I tell you I've put your personal details on the internet without your permission.' Is that right?' Jane tilted her head, waiting for the inevitable confession.

'I only put your phone number!... And that picture of you with the dog on your lap in New Mexico-'

' _Darcy_!'

'You looked super cute in that picture!'

'What if I get a bunch of messages from rapist serial killers?!'

'I told you, I'll filter out the dregs, you'll be fine! You can arrange a date in a public place and if he seems shifty I'll get you out okay?'

Jane got up 'I'm going home.'

'You can't just leave me here! We're in the middle of running a stall!'

'I can't believe you would do something so stupid! That you would interfere with personal life-'

'Well, what do you think I've been doing the last two years?! I've come this close to hand feeding you a couple of times because you were too hung up on Space-Fabio to even take care of your own well-being!'

Darcy's sudden outburst had heads turning towards them, but most trying not to. A couple of students were already getting out their phones for the hopefully inevitable cat-fight in the middle of a market-place.

'Well, I never asked you to!' Jane shot back.

'No, because I'm your friend and I care about you and I don't want to see you throw away your life!'

'I'm not the one wasting my time being an astrophysics intern when I don't even know what a Higgs-Bosen Particle is!'

Darcy shook with anger 'How _would_ I know if you never explain it to me and I'm _wasting_ _my time_?! You actually-'

'Just go home Darcy!' Jane growled 'Interfere in someone else's life! All you've been doing is _nagging_ me when I'm a grown ass woman who can make my own decisions!'

'I'm not the one crying like a love-sick teenager, willing to throw away a perfectly good astrophysics career because some dude won't call you back and you're only five years older than me!'

They both just looked at each other, suddenly aware of the audience gathering around them. Jane just shook her head 'I'm going back to the flat, don't bother coming in tomorrow.'

'You're just going to- Oh! Jane!'

Darcy watched, helpless as Jane stamped away, crowds parting to let her through. Darcy thumped back into her chair, surrounded by cakes and gawping Londoners, and feeling about five inches tall.

'You okay?'

The voice belonged to a tall, lanky young man with wide eyes and a British accent. He nearly ran away when Darcy shot him a look of pure, unadulterated fury 'Does it _look_ like I'm okay?'

'Uh... no,' he squeaked 'not really.'

'Well then.'

She continued to sit, but the guy didn't move on. He just stood, apparently trying to say something else.

'What?' Darcy snapped.

'I was just wondering... was that Jane Foster? Dr Jane Foster?'

'Yeah, so?'

'Well, I'm... I'm a big fan, I'm in particle-physics, well, second year of my BSc at Kings, and I really needed to get on an internship and I saw on twitter she was running a cake stall in London so I just wanted to-'

Darcy looked up at him 'You saw us on twitter? Where?'

'Oh your account, I assume you're Darcy Lewis? Her intern?'

Darcy was taken aback by him _knowing_ who she was. She eyed him suspiciously 'You... follow me on twitter?'

'Yeah, you do the funniest tweets about the Avengers,' he smiled nervously and held out his hand for her to shake 'I'm Ian, Ian Boothby. I'm particle-man on twitter.'

'Oh...' Darcy shook it and, now that she thought about it, _did_ remember the name, if only because it referenced a They Might Be Giants song 'right... okay.'

'So...?' Ian began.

'Look, as you could tell from that... scene, me and Dr Foster are _not_ on the best of terms, plus I'm pretty sure she will not be needing another intern right now. Or ever.'

'Oh,' Ian said, looking crestfallen.

'But... hey, thanks for stopping by, you want a cupcake?'

'I'm vegan,' he said.

'Wow, no wonder you're so thin,' she remarked, but smiled at him 'so you just came for Jane's science?'

'Yeah, I heard she was researching gravitational anomalies.'

Darcy sighed 'She _was_.'

'If she changes her mind, can I give you my number?'

'Yeah, sure, why not?' They exchanged numbers.

'Thanks,' he gave an awkward little wave 'I'll be seeing you.'

'Maybe,' Darcy waved back 'who knows?'

  


Darcy arrived back at her hostel in a foul mood. She had to some how get rid of over two dozen cakes, since no one would go near the stall after her and Jane's public spat. She mostly gave them to homeless people and, with the permission of their parents, small children on the Tube. She felt not the slightest bit guilty about either. She still had some when she got back, but the various groups of students from all over the place (Spanish, Japanese, Kenyan) that shared the hostel with her were more than happy to help her finish them off. She nursed a coffee whilst she contemplated her next move- there was no _way_ she would speak to Jane just yet. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, she rolled her eyes, expecting it to be Jane- surprised to see it was Erik.

'What's up?'

'Darcy!' Erik's voice was a decibel or two above acceptable phone conversation 'Good to hear from you!'

'Uh, likewise,' she said, with a wince 'how's it going up in Wales?'

'I've got some evidence that there's going to be some activity down at Stonehenge, I'm heading over there tonight. I've just spoken to Jane,' he said conversationally 'she said you two had a falling out over a cake stall?'

'Yeah... we'll, it wasn't over a cake stall- okay, it was literally _over_ a cake stall, but that's not what the argument was about.'

'She seemed pretty upset.'

Darcy made a non-committal noise. _Good_ , she thought, bitterly, taking a sip of coffee.

'I asked if she wanted to come up to Stonehenge tomorrow to have a look, but she said she was busy, that she had a date.'

Darcy nearly spat coffee across the room, but just stopped herself choking on it.

'You _serious_?! Since when?!'

'Uh... I have no idea, why don't you ask her?' Erik sounded like he was starting to regret calling her 'I'm sure she's sorry for... whatever she's said.'

'Yeah, I'll talk to her, see you-' Darcy was about to hang up, when Erik shouted something that nearly blew her ear-drum out 'What?'

'If my predictions are correct, you should be seeing some activity in London.'

'Activity? What sort of activity?'

'Check the scanners, I'm not exactly sure where, but you should be able to track it.'

'Have you told Jane this?'

'Yes, but she said she'd make a note of it,' Erik's voice started to fizzle out 'I've got to go, something- hap- got-'

The line died, Darcy carefully set it down and stared into space for a moment _A date? An actual date?_

After a finishing her coffee and ordering dinner, she took the bull by the horns and called Jane, wondering if she'd pick up at all. She wasn't sure whether she was relieved or annoyed when she did.

'Hey Darcy,' Jane sounded sorry, but Darcy kept her guard up.

'Hey,' she said, flatly 'so what's this I hear about a date?'

'Oh... when I got back, I had an email, from that dating site, he asked if he could call me, so I said okay and we talked and... we're going on a date.'

'Just like that?'

'Just like that, his name's Richard O'Dale, he's Irish, thirty five, works for an insurance company... seemed nice on the phone. He's booked a table at the OXO Brasserie for twelve thirty tomorrow. It's the place with the giant OXO down the side of it. That's apparently a British stock powder company-'

'Jane,' Darcy interrupted with some choice sarcasm 'you took my interfering, sorry, I mean my _advice_?'

She heard a deep sigh from the other end 'I'm so sorry Darcy. I... was stupid, I didn't mean to say those things. You're... literally the only person in my life keeping me going right now.'

'That's true.'

'You know, thinking about it, what I said about people caring about my work even though they don't understand it... you did.'

'Still do doofus,' Darcy sniffed 'and I _do_ know what a Higgs-Bosen particle is, it's a particle that gives mass to other particles.'

Jane laughed 'Yeah... it's a little more complicated-'

'Well, I guess I'm just a dumb intern so I wouldn't know,' Darcy said, coldly.

'I never said you were dumb! I'm the dumb one! I said Thor was the only one who cared, well, you cared to. You didn't have to stick around, you could have found another internship, but you stayed to help me because-'

'I'm your friend. I may kinda hate you right now, but I am still your friend.'

Jane huffed out a breath 'I'm glad to hear it.'

'And you managed to say his name without hesitating, well done! You have made progress!'

'Hey... I did!'

'You are officially on your way to being over him!'

They allowed a comfortable silence for a moment or two 'Do you forgive me for putting your details on a dating site without your permission?'

'Yeah, we'll call it quits okay?' Jane sounded happier 'Please?'

'So long as I can make fun of your weepy episodes.'

'If you must.'

'You got yourself a deal!'

'Oh good!' Jane tried to sound annoyed, but she was too relieved.

'So, you're going on a date,' Darcy was all sing-song 'with a dude, in a public place?'

'Yup. It's all booked.'

'Nervous?'

'Of course,' Jane said, trying to sound all cheerful and excited.

'You don't really want to go do you?'

'Nope. Not at all.'

Darcy groaned 'Look, I'll remind you to go okay? Chill, you'll be fine, if he's not what you're after, just leave and we'll try again. If he gets nasty, I'll taser him till he loses bladder control.'

'You're not allowed tasers in this country.'

'I'll hit him in the nuts with a baseball- sorry, cricket, bat.'

'Okay, I'll go. But if it goes wrong I'll probably go on another stress baking binge.'

'It's a risk I'm willing to take and I'll stop by tomorrow morning to make sure you've _actually_ left.'

'I'll go! I promise!'

'Sure,' Darcy teased, 'I'll pull you by your ridiculously gorgeous hair if I have to.'

'I'll be gone before you leave okay? You won't have to,' Jane was giggling now.

'I'll hold you to that. I might even stop by the restaurant to spy on you!'

'Please don't!'

'I'll be discreet, I totally won't tell embarrassing stories.'

'You will.'

'Only a few.'

Jane, after a short pause, said again 'I am sorry.'

'It's cool, we're even,' Darcy suddenly had a thought 'did Erik call you?'

'Yeah, he said he's onto something,' Jane made a resigned little noise 'he's not taking his meds properly I know he's not.'

'He might be right this time, he said it might happen in London.'

'Hah! Okay, he's _really_ not taking his meds,' Jane scoffed 'I'm moving on Darcy. I'll talk to him properly tomorrow. Tell him my plan.'

'You still going ahead with the whole proper doctor thing?' Darcy rolled her eyes.

'I _am_ a proper- never mind, yeah, I'm still going ahead. For now. Unless something major happens.'

'Like a portal or-'

'It won't, I told you, I'm done.'

'Yeah, so you say. Maybe if this guy's nice and supportive, you might reconsider,' Darcy leaned against her table 'just saying.'

'I'm going now, I still have a butt-ton of cakes here.'

'I'll come over and eat them for you okay? They went down a storm at the hostel aannnddd... when you say 'butt-ton'...'

'I mean thirty six. And some cake-pops. And some... madelines.'

'Oh God, Jane, you're going to give me diabetes. And a stroke. At the same time.'

'I'm sorry! I was pretty angry and guilty after our fight so... I may have gone off the baking rails...' Jane trailed off.

'My pancreas will _deeply_ regret the day I got you into stress baking.'

'Totally your fault.'

'No, it's totally _his_ fault,' Darcy said.

'Thor?' Jane asked.

'Oh yeah.'

'I'm probably just going to slap him, I think punching him will break my hand.'

'Go for it. Then I'll hit _him_ in the nuts with a cricket bat. It probably won't hurt him, but it'll look pretty funny.'

'You're the best intern ever,' Jane said, with a happy laugh.

'I want that on a mug. And a t-shirt. I'll come over and pick up the cakes okay? Cause I am just that nice.'

'You are. Love you Darcy.'

'Love you to crazy boss-lady.'

  


The next morning, Darcy found the cakes, but Jane was long gone. She smiled to herself and proceeded to pack away the cakes into tins and Tupperware boxes. There were plenty to go around, to Darcy's dismay, but she hefted them into the back of their rented Volvo (silently thanking any God who was listening for the huge trunk). When she got back to the hostel and left the cakes for the staff and her Kenyan room-mates, she felt her phone buzz and saw a text from Jane:

_On my way to date- worried about Erik- tried to call him but no answer, can you try him later? J x_

_Sure thing boss! ;) Enjoy ur date- hope he's hot xxxooo_

Darcy frowned and got back in the car, suddenly remembering what Erik had said to her the day before. When she got back to Jane's flat, after making it through the slow moving London traffic, she had to rifle through a box of equipment, but found the scanner and switched it on. She stared at the reading in mild surprise- it was spiking all over the place. Her stomach knotted for a moment because those readings looked _really_ familiar... she knocked the scanner on a table, still no change, she tried turning it off and on again- no, still the same. They appeared to be indicating in a certain direction, but she had no idea. Darcy tried not to panic, but it was rising up her gut, making her pace the room whilst she tried to rack her brains. She tried Jane, but either her phone was on silent or she wasn't picking up. Darcy growled and put the phone down 'Seriously, the _one_ time I need you to _not_ listen to me-'

She nearly jumped when her phone rang, she was so quick to answer she didn't look at the name that appeared on the screen 'Jane!'

'No, it's Ian actually, I was wondering if you had a chance to speak to her about taking on another intern?'

'She doesn't need another one, she's got me okay? And right now- wait a sec, what's your major?'

'Uh...' Ian began, then Darcy remembered the different system in the UK.

'What're you studying?'

'Particle physics, hoping to do a Masters in Quantum Mechanics at some point, but it would look really good for my prospects if I interned-'

'So you would be able to read a phase metre and track a gravitational anomaly?'

'Uh, yeah, I've _built_ a phase metre before-'

'You're hired.'

'You- what?' Ian sounded so confused that Darcy would have found it endearing if she wasn't trying to regulate her breathing.

'I mean, you'll have to be _my_ intern, since Jane's got me, but I need you to come with me right now and do some science. Where are you now?' Darcy opened up Google maps on Jane's laptop.

'I'm at my dorm at the Kings College Waterloo campus, right next to South Bank.'

After a moment of silence whilst Darcy did a quick search, she said 'Got it, I'll be there asap, you ready?'

'What? We're starting today?'

'We're starting _now_ my friend, get your gear and be ready for me to pick you up outside your dorm in t-minus thirty minutes, soon as I figure out the London traffic.'

'Oh... sure, okay.'

'Congrats intern! If things go well, you're about to see some totally freaky shit.'

'My name's Ian.'

'Whatever.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finds there are some perks to being Jane Foster's intern after all- walking in on half-naked demi-gods for one.

A week or so after Greenwich, Thor returned for good (as far as she could tell) and Darcy plucked up the courage to visit Jane's flat, on the basis that they couldn't _still_ be banging right? They weren't, but she did walk in on Thor, wearing only sweatpants and making coffee. He gave her a big, bright smile 'Good morning!'

'Morning muscles!' She replied, only checking him out a little, after all, just because the restaurant was closed didn't mean she couldn't look at the menu 'Jane up?'

'No... she probably will not awake for some time,' he only looked a little smug, to his credit.

'You pretty much just put her in a sex coma didn't you?'

Thor laughed 'Is that what you would call it? We call it the 'Freya-sleep'.'

Darcy snorted 'Says a  _lot_ about you guys.'

'I hope so.'

She hung up her coat and hat, noting Mew-Mew hanging up on a peg by the door.

'How does it stay there? I thought you had to be 'worthy'?'

'When it has a worthy owner, Mjolnir will stay where that owner commands it,' Thor said, stiring in milk and sugar 'when it doesn't, it becomes... uncooperative.'

'Makes sense, oh! Is one of those for me?'

'It is,' Thor placed a cup on the table.

'Thanks!'

As she strode in to sit and drink her coffee, Thor went sat down to, giving her a serious look for a moment.

'Darcy,' he began.

'Okay, before you say anything, I have a request; could you put a shirt on? No offence, but I'm in a committed relationship right now, so are you I assume. I am trying  _real_ hard not to stare at your pecs and it's kinda distracting.' 

Thor just laughed again, holding up a hand 'Apologies, one moment.'

He returned from the bedroom now wearing a t-shirt, which left little to the imagination, but at least meant Darcy could have a civil conversation.

'Better?'

'Much!' Darcy smiled 'Okay, shoot.'

Thor sat opposite her, took his mug and held it in his hands for a moment, apparently in thought 'I hear you have been taking care of Jane? Whilst I was... absent.'

'I have,' Darcy said, cautiously 'why?'

'I wanted to thank you and apologise for my failings. It should not have fallen to you to look after Jane. Had I known she had become so heart-sick I would...' he stopped, looking into his coffee 'I did not go to her because my duties kept me in Asgard and travelling realm to realm. I thought I would be protecting her from the destruction I seemed to carry behind me. Her world, _your_ world seems to have suffered much because of me and mine.'

'To be fair, it was mostly down to your brother.'

'This is true,' Thor said sadly 'but it is still my doing. Still the reason why... I did not think I deserved Jane. I had Heimdall keep watch over her. He did not tell me she was close to giving up her work.'

'Perhaps he thought you would drop everything go to her straight away,' Darcy shrugged 'from what I understand.'

'That seems likely.'

'Also, you may or may not have noticed, but Dr Foster goes head long into danger regardless. It's kinda of her thing. You cannot protect her all the time and, well, being wreck-less is what makes her Jane. You don't want that to change right?'

He smiled to himself 'No, I would not. I admire her bravery. It's easy to rush headlong into the fray as a warrior, but not as a scholar. I would never change that.'

'Exactly dude.'

He sat in thoughtful silence took a sip of his coffee. A thought occurred to Darcy.

'Have you told all this to Jane? She seems like the one who should be hearing this.'

'I have, she seemed satisfied with my explanation.'

'Fair enough. If she's good, then I'm good.'

'And you will not attack my manhood with a blunt instrument on her behalf?'

'She told you about that huh?' Darcy grinned 'Only if you mess her around my friend, and it won't be blunt either.'

'It's a deal,' Thor raised his mug, Darcy gently clinked her's with his.

After a short while Darcy remarked 'To be fair, we did get  _something_ good out of your disappearance.'

'What is that?'

'A metric  _butt-ton_ of cupcakes.'


End file.
